In my experience as a couples therapist, people would rather tell me the details of their sex life than the details of their bank account. But talking about money, and the feelings it elicits, like all other big topics, can be very connective and empowering for couples. If you're considering marriage or long-term commitment, here are some questions to get you started:
When you think about the financial situation in your family when you were growing up, what feelings come to mind?
Was their conflict in the family related to money? How did they get resolved?
What kind of messages did you get from your parents about money growing up?
How are you currently feeling about your finances?
Do you have debt? What kind of debt is it and how did it come to be?
What do you indulge in? How do you feel about spending money to treat yourself?
Is there anything you feel shame or guilt about in your spending patterns?
Do you foresee combining finances in a marriage or long-term relationship? If so , how will financial decisions be made?
What do you do well when it comes to your money? What do you still need to learn?
What are your finicail goals for the future?
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